A dear friend of mine died several years ago & I mourned her being gone. As I came to realize, I was focusing more for what I’d lost than what I’d gained. One day I heard–as if spoken from above–
“Why are you wasting your time crying and ruining your make up? Get on with it–you’ve got lots to do!”
And so the mourning ended and the joy of knowing her filled my heart once again.
I never came to you, my friend
That I didn’t go away
A little stronger for the moment–
A bit more determined for the day.
You never came to me, my friend
That I didn’t make you feel the same
Helping you through a burden
Along life’s difficult way
I’ve driven the road to your house many times
Always sure of the things I’d find:
Laughter that was too loud, tears that often came,
Words that were never spoken but heard just the same
So how do I carry on now? Just the same you’d say.
The memories of us will get you through the worst day.
For you see, I’ll always come to you, my friend,
In thoughts and memories again, again and again.
INSTALLMENT #1 TRAVELOGUE OF 2 SISTERS ROAD TRIP
Have you ever made so many U-turns you’re not sure if you are headed back to the beginning or on a completely different route?
That recently happened to me on a road trip. Best laid plans and all that! Had maps marked, turn-by-turn directions, GPS, and many other devices that should have made the traveling a little easier. But, you know, when you pass up that exit and you’re in the wrong lane, things fall apart right then.
And it doesn’t even have to be on a multi-lane interstate. It can be a highway junction in a small town that throws you off. Seems more and more junctions are being laid out to give an “easier” way around the town. Large or small, roads can get you mis-routed in an instant.
So after you try a couple of new perspectives on it and you’ve still not found your connection, you do the unthinkable: ASK FOR DIRECTIONS FROM A LOCAL. That doesn’t often turn out well even from the first statement when they begin:
You know where the old post office was? Well, you go down four or five or maybe six blocks and you turn by the old gas station. ‘course it’s closed down now and they’ve bulldozed it all down and widened the street there. I think it’s a flea market now or something.”
If I knew things like that and if I was from ‘round these parts’ I probably wouldn’t be asking for directions. Just then another voice chimes in:
“You know where old man Smith’s place is? It’s past that a bit…can’t miss it”
Oh, my, hasn’t that been helpful? You smile and return to the car and try to readjust your antennae…and, with a renewed spirit you start toward the old post office.
But I’ve learned in traveling (as in life) if you have to turn around and try again, something different will happen. It won’t be the same journey [even if you do see old man Smith’s place]…and you may still be lost. Why didn’t you ask them to draw you a map? But then why would their map be any better than all the ones you got from the travel agent, the state or the one you pulled up on your smart phone?
Oh, gosh, do you think that place we just passed was old man Smith’s!! I know the guy said ‘can’t miss it’ but I think we just did.
On one dreary afternoon when my sister and I realized we weren’t anywhere close to being able to tackle the up-coming city (because of an “alternate” road we’d taken in our approach), we made a major decision. We just threw all caution to the wind, tossed the state & city map into the back seat and braved the city one street at a time.
My comment was: You know our parents and grandparents traveled across this great United States in the 30s,40s & 50s with no map. Surely we can do it.
And we did. We found more things in that city than they’ve ever put on a tourist guide. We found beautiful scenery, expensive homes in a well-to-do suburb (even a Frank Lloyd Wright designed house). We located and identified six various kinds of art deco architecture within a 4-block area of downtown. We tasted that city’s grit to grime believing our new route through the run-down section would connect to another road. It did…just not the right road. When we photographed our last shot in the dying sunset, we found the right highway connect. At that moment we felt we had enjoyed that city more than any that could be on our trip.
If you missed the turns in your life, you’ve got some options:
- You can make a u-turn and head back looking at it from the other side
- You can analyze that if you “square it off” you’ll get right back where you were before (but remember…you were lost then, too)
- You can take the new directions from the locals and get a chance to see that old post office
- You can throw up your hands, toss the map out the window and wing it from there and see something else that wasn’t even on your list.
You can do any of these things…and none are really wrong decisions.
But, failing to try again can be the most unpleasant of all. You’ll never get on the right road if you don’t turn around; you’ll never get to see the old post office and you’ll miss the entire journey.
Be brave! U-turn now…go back and see where you missed that turn…go back and try it again! Remember the last time you missed a turn and you just kept going? Yes, you do remember how that turned out, don’t you? Make some decision…because indecision is the same as standing still.
You’ll never know what you’ll discover on “alternate” roads. Here’s a few things I would have missed if I’d followed the exact directions.
Solitary road found during a U-turn in TX
Frank Lloyd Wright designed house in Tulsa
Gates swinging open at Graceland
Monument to school desegregation in Little Rock
Rock of Ages Farm Barn Route 66 OK
Smallest portion of Route 66 (13 miles) in KS
Town of Santa Claus IN – decorated 365 days a year and lights turned on each night
Quiet road found during U-turn in TN
Metal from World Trade Center sculpture (ORNL)
Oak Ridge TN
Cumberland River in downtown Nashville
Directions are easier to see once you turn around!
I can’t guarantee you’ll find exactly what you are looking for with a U-turn or change in direction. I can guarantee that it’s different–and isn’t that what we are hoping when we’ve realized we made the wrong turn?
I looked into the sun, squinting to make out the road sign; As I U-turned to look from the other side, it was clear. Not clear that I ‘d found what I needed but clear I was lost. Sometimes, discovering you are lost is as good as knowing where you are. Make the journey; start the adventure; map it out; But when best laid plans come up short, make a new plan. Never too late to start a new journey on an old road.
I love the mornings–early before the world starts to make noise, before the cars taking people here and there drown out the sound of the birds singing their good morning song. There’s nothing like the new day to set out to do some good thing–to try to make the hours worth the living–to reach out to someone.
Although it’s always in my mind that I should do those things, how many days have I squandered just watching TV, sleeping late, thinking of myself and never accomplishing even one of the goals I know life expects and deserves of me.
Often it’s just a word of “hello“ or “how are you doing“ that can make the difference in someone’s lonely heart. And can you imagine if they are hurting and in pain and lonely what words like “have a good day“ or “you look lovely today“ could do for their spirit.
I’ve spent years rushing and being a part of the noise the world hears. There has been day upon day that I spent complaining or gossiping or thinking bad things about others, and that wasted my energy and left me with nothing accomplished. When do we finally learn that those things are worthless if we have not accomplished anything during those hours between rising and retiring at the end of another exhaustive day?
I think it’s now! For me, I am finding such peace and joy in the day that begins early listening to the birds sing their arias and the quietness of the world around me strengthening my soul.Johann Wolfgang van Goeth said:
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if possible, speak a few reasonable words.
Shall we join together to make our days worth the living and be worthy of the next day that comes our way–if it is to be.
Make each day you are given be worth the living.
LOVE as though you have never been hurt before,
SING as though no one can hear you,
LIVE as though heaven is on earth. —Souza
______________________________________________________The story below came to me via an e-mail friend. I couldn’t let the heart of the story pass without sharing it with you. An old woman wrote this letter to her friend. The last line says it all!
I’m reading more and dusting less. I’m sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I’m spending more time with my family and friends and less time working.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I’m trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I’m not “saving” anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I’m not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.
“Someday” and “one of these days” are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I’m not sure what others would’ve done had they known they wouldn’t be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have called family members and a few close friends. They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever their favorite food was.
I’m guessing–I’ll never know.
It’s those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn’t written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn’t tell my husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I’m trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, tell myself that it is special.
truly is a gift from God.
Take a few minutes to share this with a few people you care about, just to let them know that you’re thinking of them.
Life may not be the party we hoped for,
Click to listen to the touching song “The Dance” by Garth Brooks
You can’t always throw out your mistakes, but maybe you can salvage part of them and learn from them!
Hope your turkey is just right for your holiday meal–and that your life is perfect for you. If not? Everyone gets a do-over.
Follow me on Twitter @VanHessTXred – Made a Mess of Things? http://wp.me/p466rU-3K